A Bowlful of Holiday Memories
Finding the way to an authentic, meaningful holiday celebration
When I fell in love with a man who wasn’t raised celebrating Christmas, I vowed to myself I’d avoid imposing the holiday on him. The issue of Christmas and it’s celebration first came up when we were packing up the house where my ex and I had lived and I was determining what to bring to start my new life - and what items to leave behind forever. I opted against dragging any of the Christmas decor I’d accumulated with the ex (who was a Santa Claus-dressing, 6-foot automated waving Santa-owning, over-the-top drown you in anything and everything Christmas kinda guy (which, it turns out, does not disqualify one from also being included on the Biggest Asshole Ever kinda guy list), deciding to take only a small selection of items that had meaningful childhood memories associated with them. No doubt my feelings about celebrating Christmas moving forward with Scott were reactionary against the concept of the overdone yuletide spectacles I’d endured for years with the ex. From there on out, it was going to be Christmas on my own terms.
To be honest, I didn’t know how I felt about the holiday in those early days with Scott. His family had a Hanukkah get-together and for several years that quenched my need for holiday festivities - people gathering in love and connection - what more is needed really? The year we got married, we were in K-Mart (for you youngins’ and Scott asked out of the blue if I’d like to buy a Christmas tree, you know, to start building traditions of our own. I was deeply touched and said yes. For the next few years, we decorated our tree with the treasured ornaments I’d brought along from Colorado and a few we accumulated on our own along the way. It was nice to have our own tree and decor that was lowkey about the holiday, which matched our own attitude toward it.
Then along came Desi…
We adopted two cats two days after we moved into our house (because as far as we’re concerned, no house is a home without at least one cat). Abbey and Penny were sweet, calm creatures who were all about cuddling and had no mischief in them whatsoever. They treated our Christmas tree as a curiosity (and Penny was fond of napping beneath it) but the things that make Christmas tree + cat = disaster did not apply in our home. Even when Beemer came along, she had little interest in exploring the seasonal “cat tower” that appeared each year.
We felt blessed to be able to decorate at will without fear of, well, this…
Three cats, no problem with the Christmas tree. Alas Cat #4, aka Desdemona (Desi for short), was an explorer of the highest honor. That girl could (and did regularly) leap from the floor to the top of the refrigerator effortlessly in a single bound. Even knowing this, we attempted setting up the tree her first year with us… but it soon became apparent that this would be an ill-advised undertaking. So our tree-trimming days came suddenly, and with a touch of melancholy, to an end. Desi, of course, was worth the sacrifice.
Our holiday decorating - well, let me clarify - seasonal decorating - though, continued. We, not being of the religious stripe, opt to keep things festive yet secular. We’re big on wreaths, candles, winter decor and snowmen (the latter, it seems, has become an unintentional collection that we now realize we’d accumulated as gifts over our 30+ years together). For decades now, those articles have decorated our environment throughout the holiday season, sans those which adorned our tree (even those ornaments fondly remembered from my parents’ tree).
Until this year.
This year I finally gave into an urge I’ve had for a couple years now… to bring my childhood ornaments (what I consider my personal “family heirlooms” in from storage and display them where they can bring me joy.
I’ve hesitated because I didn’t know exactly how I wanted to make it happen but it became evident over the weekend when I came across this lovely crystal bowl we’d received for a wedding present. I added a candle, placed the ornaments around it and voila! - Christmas tree in a bowl! It makes me happy and connects me to many lovely childhood memories.
Here’s photographic proof of my first Christmases and if I’m not mistaken, one of the ones in the bowl is pictured just to the left of my tiny head…
Happy every holiday and may the spirit of all of them, love and light and hope, touch your life and inspire you to spread those same gifts to every one of your fellow humans, no matter what, who or how they celebrate. We are one and we only get to do this thing we call life once.